Kong Sez:

    "Recently, because of the Global Warming, a group of politicians in Washington wanted to levy a certain tax on the states that have over a certain amount of Elk. That's right...Elk! The Fart tax is what they want to levy against those states with too many Elk. The Elks' flatulence (flatus...or commonly known as Farts) was adding to the global warming gases. The main gas was methane, as is found in cows and horse, etc. This did not fly.

    "Well...now there is a discussion of a new fart tax. Read on:

Government Gone Mad

---

The latest thing on the bureaucratic mind these days is to find new ways to get their hands into your pockets. Better tape your wallet directly to your skin, or you'll find it mysteriously emptied.

Take the new proposal that's making the rounds: They want to tax farmers on the "greenhouse gas emissions" from--no, not their tractors and combines--but their livestock!

Yes, you heard that right. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) came up with this lunacy after the Supreme Court ruled that greenhouse gases emitted via burping and farting are "air pollution."

One may well ask, what was the Supreme Court thinking (or smoking!) when it came out with this one. It sets the stage for suit-happy Americans to sue any offending neighbor who ate beans that day, and provides another means for city folk who finally achieve their goal of moving to the country to sue the farmers who were there first.

Apparently, the entire government wants to sue the farmers, or at least, bankrupt them, by means of fines on every animal on their farms.

According to the Associated Press, the proposal "would require farms or ranches with more than 25 dairy cows, 50 beef cattle or 200 hogs to pay an annual fee of about $175 for each dairy cow, $87.50 per head of beef cattle and $20 for each hog."

Naturally, this fee sounds reasonable to the ding-a-lings who concocted it, but: "The executive vice president of the Wyoming Farm Bureau Federation, Ken Hamilton, estimated the fee would cost owners of a modest-sized cattle ranch $30,000 to $40,000 a year. He said he has talked to a number of livestock owners about the proposals, and 'all have said if the fees were carried out, it would bankrupt them.'"

"Who comes up with this kind of stuff?" said Perry Mobley, director of the Alabama Farmers Federation's beef division. "It seems there is an ulterior motive, to destroy livestock farms. This would certainly put them out of business."

Who cares if the farmers are driven out of business? asks People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). PETA think this proposal is perfect, because it will force farms and ranches to "switch to healthier crops."

"It makes perfect sense if you are looking for ways to cut down on meat consumption and recoup environmental losses," said Bruce Friedrich, a spokesman in Washington for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

"We certainly support making factory farms pay their fair share," he said.

Interpretation: "Let them eat beans!"

The EPA says this is just one of many proposals they are "considering," but if this piece of nuttiness became the law of the land, it won't be long before PETA has achieved its goal of turning every American into a vegetarian.

Then the lawsuits will really hit the fan, because you know what eating all those beans will do to people . . . — Proposed fee on smelly cows, hogs angers farmers

This was banned in 2006. But, everybody is in on it.

Budweiser Farting Horse Commercial | Viral | SPIKE.com

Kong Further Sez:

Those mavericks in Washington and the UN next will be taxing me on my gas because of the size of bananas I eat! Phooey on them.

Kong Again Here:

    "If the above goes through for farm animals, it won't be long for me...then, you'll see signs for you humans!"

And...

... and if this ain't enough, go here and play fart sounds that have been categorized....

    And Soon, Kong Continues:

    "Humans will no longer be able to order in restaurants cabbage, broccoli, onions, garlic, and beans as well as shopping for cruciferous vegetables in supermarkets—because of the gas tax. Next, will come the Gas Police or Fart Sniffing Dogs to see who is not obeying the law....ad infinitum...ad nauseum."

In The Meantime

Run For Your Life

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